Remember, Forget
by CheekeyMonkey
Summary: Takes place after John steps into the future. Au. Femslash Sarah/Cameron


****** Hmm, it is an AU one-shot. Takes place after John steps into the future. Enjoy.**

**The Harold Song**_**-**__"I miss your soft lips. I miss your white sheets. And this is so hard, because I didn't see that you were the love of my life and it kills me."_

She felt weak dragging herself to the bed and falling onto it. The worn mattress dipped under her weight and she rolled onto her side, back facing the door. She buried her face into her pillow and tried to block her small sobs from the ears on the other side of the door. She wanted to block her pain from the concerned eyes, from everyone.

The days were growing harder to bare the pain her heart was enduring. She watched her son walk into the TDE and he never came back with the damn machine he was determined to save. He always had a crush on it and he believed it was learning to feel and express itself.

Sarah knew the truth. Cameron was simply sent back to make a teenage boy forget his mother's words and lessons. Make him fall for its false emotions of loving him and have his one minded thought process think that he was supposed to step into the unknown to save a machine, a girl he believed loved him.

After those familiar green eyes, full of tears and confusion, were gone and all she was left with was the electric blue waves of the TDE she didn't break down and fall to the floor in pain of losing her only child. No, she hardened her heart and turned to Ellison. The agent was watching her with shock of the story line he was unaware of. He was all she had to stop Skynet and save her baby boy from the future.

She had no choice but to keep going. Stopping was not a choice she could bring herself to voice in her thoughts. What kind of mother would she be?

From that day on Ellison was her acquaintance in this war with Skynet. They shared their good amount of curses and stitching each other up from bullet and knife wounds. Small talk was never shared between the two. Sarah was focused only on ending Skynet.

She didn't succeed. And what hurts the most is SHE is the leader of the resistance. John had never been the leader. He was the boy Derek found in Kyle's jacket and fell under Kyle's orders. He had been the boy trying to play hero by running into a Skynet camp-the camp Cameron was being built in-and was killed by a machine.

Her son was dead.

John was dead.

Familiar green eyes were dead and gone.

Cameron once told her she would die of cancer. But at forty five, she was still alive and, for a human in this war, fairly healthy. No signs of cancer have yet to show itself on her body. She cursed and it and could kiss it. All that time with Ellison it drove her to move faster, think broader, expand her decisions. And now she only wanted it to end her.

She kept moving forward for John, to live out his legacy like he should have done. Sarah Connor was the name they said in awe. She was the woman they feared, loved, adored, cherished, would die for. To see those eyes on her was a painful reminder that she failed her child.

Sarah was searching for Cameron. Not for a friendly face, but to kill the machine, who took her son. She was going to make sure Cameron is never sent back to the past to protect them.

From time to time she would spot a smiling girl's face similar to Cameron's. The girl's chocolate eyes were never blank to make her think it was Cameron. Allison Young was a youthful girl with no doubt in her heart. Cameron could never fake that.

She never truly walked up to the girl to address her. Sarah couldn't handle the brown eyes without remembering this was the girl Cameron would murder in cold blood. She kept her distance, but watched the girl for disappearance and lack of light in her eyes.

If John was dead, would Allison still be the model for Cameron's look? It was always a thought on Sarah's mind. She pushed it away. Finding the machine was her main priority.

Pushing her pain away to denial, Sarah rolled onto her back and heard the bed squeak under her. Someone on the other side heard her move and they knocked softly on her door.

"Ma'am?" the young boy behind the door called out to her. She remembered Derek recruiting him for his aim and scouting skills. The boy was only sixteen, John's age when he left her, and he had green eyes with a crooked smile. A sweet heart to the girls and a tough one to the boys; that's what he was and Sarah felt guilty for having him fight this war.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands and rolled off her mattress to stand in the middle of the room. Crossing to the door in quick strides, she turned her head slightly to regard her mirror. She took in the Emerald eyes and the signs of aging. Her hair was still the raven, short, messy locks it's always been since John was a teenager. Only one gray streak marked it and she curled her lips into a sneer.

Sarah pulled up her walls and ice was her eyes as she opened the door to growl at the boy. "What is it, private?" Her icy eyes boarded into his green, frightened ones. He involuntary took a step back from her and Sarah smirked slightly.

He squirmed under her stare for several minutes. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from demanding him to answer her question. This wasn't the Sarah Connor John knew. She killed that one off so she could shut her emotions off to fight this war. He would be disappointed in her.

She knew that.

An older soldier had to come to the kids rescue, for tears were brimming in his eyes and Sarah was almost going to allow the walls to fall and take him in her arms and pretend he was John for several guilty minutes. He walked casually up to them and placed his hand on the boy's soldier to physically comfort him.

His blue eyes focused on Sarah when he spoke directly to her. "I'm sorry, Connor. The boy meant no harm for intruding on your sleep." He stood ramrod straight and spoke as if he was giving a report to her. The man was aware Connor didn't sleep as much as she should. The dark circles under her eyes were the giving to it.

She slowly nodded her head and stepped fully out of her room. Closing the door quietly, Sarah walked away from them and they watched her back disappear around a corner. She heard the man whispering encouraging words to the boy.

"_I see your face in strangers on the street. I still say your name when I'm talking in my sleep. And in the limelight I play it off fine. But I can't handle it when I turn off my night light."_

There were only two people who knew the truth of the green eyed teenager that magically found himself in the future-Charley and Ellison. Sarah tries to understand the whole time line bull-shit, but it only made her head spin.

She was in the same time as John. She was here when he died. Derek Reese had told her when she asked about someone named John. If she had known, she could have saved him-the thought of him being here sent her head spinning and confusion in her heart.

She moved quietly down the corridor of the tunnels they hid in. Machines had a hard time of tracking their body heat when they travelled underground. Sarah only sent scouts to the surface for scavenging and rescue missions. Soldiers were sent for machine terminating priorities.

Keeping her mind occupied as each step lead her directly to the command post, Sarah trailed her eyes over every man, woman, and child the huddled close together for human comfort and love. Her green eyes met every smile they gave her and the trust in their eyes.

She gave them a nod in recognition and walked into the command post, where Ellison was already tapping away on a computer. It was the only way they could reach the sub without Skynet picking up on their signal.

"I have news for you." Ellison's voice forced her eyes to him. He looked worn out from handling a fourteen hour shift with no sleep. He had to work longer than most of them since Charley was out of commission from being shot down by HK plane.

Sarah only trusted them two to help her hunt down Cameron. They were the only ones who knew of the truth of John and that damn machine she was obsessing over.

"Better be good news." She snapped, but he knew her bitter edge was not directed towards him. She stepped up next to him and moved the screen of the computer for her to see. And there she was.

Cameron.

Ellison moved the computer screen back to its original place and slightly turned to regard Sarah. "Cameron has been asking to speak with you. It seems Weaver gave her chip back to her and she remembers everything. What do you want to do?"

"Speak with her. Have her sent to the sparring room." Sarah turned on her heels and strode out of the room.

"_The life is fading from me while you watch my heart bleed. Young love murdered, that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone, alone."_

Cameron was here. She finally found the Terminator. The Terminator her son once trusted, the very one she secretly longed for. She frowned at the last thought. Longing for a Terminator… she denied it for years.

She still denied it.

When she walked into the sparring room, Cameron was already there and she appeared to have been working out. The punching bag swung back and forth and Cameron's breathing was slightly labored. How long has she been in here?

**Under My Skin-** _"You set me off. I can't wait to feel your hands on me. And when we rock, feels just like the devil's ridin' me. I've got youuu under my skin."_

Sarah's eyes trailed down the lithe figure of Cameron. The toned muscles were coiled tight as she stood in a defense position against the punching bag. Her hands were balled into fists in front of her face and her chocolate eyes were downcast to the bag, while Sarah's were on her.

Cameron felt Sarah's eyes on her and she felt the burn in her lower stomach as the heat traveled with those darkened green eyes sliding down her body with an intent stare. Chocolate eyes stayed glued to the bag, but fuck did she want to grab Sarah and force the woman against the wall. Since the day she ran into the older woman she had been urging to feel velvety walls and soft skin that belonged only to Sarah.

The older woman moves closer to the machine and steps in front of the bag, meeting Cameron face to face. The soft lips pouting at her were becoming irresistible to Sarah's frazzled nerves and outraged libido. She wanted the heat of Cameron's body against hers as she slides down the girl and tastes the essence that is purely Cameron.

An animalistic growl passes her lips and she pushes Cameron against the steel wall and claims the girl's lips in a heated kiss of teeth and tongues. She moans into girl's hot mouth when she feels Cameron's skin glistening in sweat and the heady aroma of her.

Sarah pulls away slightly from the girl and her eyes land on the pulse point of Cameron's neck. Her fingers trail provocatively over it and Cameron gasps softly into her ear. Slightly tilting her head, Sarah leans down and flicks her tongue out to caress the pulse that is beating rapidly under her tongue.

The younger girl arches into Sarah's body when she bites down harshly onto her skin, possessing her. A moan is forced out of her throat as the woman soothes the red mark. Cameron tries to keep her eyes open, but the feel of Sarah was tampering with her body's need and rational thought.

"Oh girlie…" Sarah whispers desire dripping in her voice. And Cameron was left speechless with the thickness of the desire in her words. And Sarah smirked at the control she had of the girl.

All thought leaves Cameron as Sarah's hands find their way to her breasts and squeeze them through her bra and shirt. She rubs her thumbs over the spot Cameron's nipples were and a throaty moan passes the girl's lips and Sarah moans lowly to the feel of Cameron's hips roll against her.

"Sarah…" Cameron's softly murmurs; her fingers slip behind the woman's head and tangles into her hair. Sarah's eyes meet hers as she pulls the woman up into a softer kiss, but still pouring with lust and passion. The older woman's tongue playful drags itself along the girl's bottom lip.

A gasp from Cameron sends Sarah's tongue into her mouth and caressing the girl's. A shiver is sent down Cameron's back and she pulls Sarah closer into her. She could feel the woman's smirk against her lips. The girl growled with the intention of wiping that smirk off Sarah's face by trailing her hands down the older woman's back, finding and squeezing the woman's toned ass, and watching as green eyes darken more with lust.

Sarah was finding it hard to play nice and go slow against the wall with the machine. She wanted her badly and couldn't wait for the release she was craving. She thrusts a leg between the girl's roughly and Cameron grinds against her with soft moans spilling from her lips.

She moves her head down and her ears heard the sharply inhaled breath of Cameron when her teeth bit down on the girl's breasts through her tank top and bra. She kisses a trail from the valley between the girl's breasts to her ear and nibbles on the earlobe before she huskily murmurs, "Do you know how badly I want you?" She nips at her earlobe again and the girl jerks against her.

Sarah moved her thigh higher between the girl's legs and presses it against her center. A hand moved to her hips and Cameron's nails dug into her skin where her shirt rode up. She didn't care. She hissed lowly and trailed her hands all along the girl's body.

Cameron arched as Sarah's hands trailed across her breasts and down to her taunt stomach. Her fingers stop at the waistband of the girl's sweatpants. She lazily slips them under the girl's tank and feels the smooth skin under her fingertips. They stop shy of the girl's bra and Cameron groans in disappointment.

The girl was panting and Sarah's eyes watched the rise and fall of her chest. She licked her suddenly dry lips. Cameron was a sight to behold when sexually stimulated. Sarah fucking loved Skynet for making her reactions perfect.

Growing impatient, Cameron takes a step from the wall so she has room and pulls her tank top off her body in one swift move. A smirk is plastered on Sarah's face at the girl's agitation. She pushes the girl back against the wall and captured the girl's mouth, plunging her tongue in, exploring. When their tongues danced, they both moaned. Cameron's hand wandered up Sarah's back, underneath her shirt. A deep moan was made from Sarah and it echoed in Cameron's mouth.

"Sarah, shirt off. Now." Cameron growled when she pulled away from the woman's kiss swollen lips. Sarah complied with her wishes and the shirt was quickly removed. The girl greedily took in the woman's pale skin and scars that begged for her to lick. She moved her eyes all over the woman's available skin.

She decided on a decision and quickly unclasped the woman's bra and through it across the room. Cameron took a nipple into her mouth and Sarah's body responded in need to the touch. Sarah cried out to her and the girl nipped her nipple before swirling her tongue around the nub.

Cameron moved down to her knees and unlaced Sarah's combat boots, taking them off; she unbuttoned Sarah's jeans. She slowly slid them down Sarah's long legs. Her eyes stayed focused on Sarah's lacy black panties. She could smell Sarah's desire and it only fueled her longing for the woman more.

Sarah stepped out of her jeans and Cameron threw them behind her. Soft kisses were placed on Sarah's right thigh and the older woman moaned softly as her fingers tangled themselves in Cameron's soft hair. She tugged on the girl making it clear where she wanted the girl. Cameron ignored her and moved to the other leg. She nipped on the thigh roughly and Sarah's groan encouraged her to suck on the woman's skin to soothe the mark.

"Oh Cameron, please… I need you." Sarah pleaded as her hips bucked to emphasize her point. Her body was churning like a tidal wave and the heat in her lower belly was igniting a flame through her whole body. She needed the girl to put the flame out, now.

Chocolate eyes slid leisurely up Sarah's body and up to hooded green eyes. A smile smirk tugged at her lips when she spoke huskily, "tell me how much you need me." She ran her fingers up the back of Sarah legs and up to her hips.

"Why don't you find out?" The woman suggested as her head fell back against the wall. Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were burning into Cameron's, full of lust.

Cameron took the challenge and hooked her fingers into the edges of Sarah's panties and slowly slid them down. She bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning at the sight of shaven, wet lips begging for her to touch, lick, and fuck them. She tossed the panties and tentatively slid her tongue out to taste Sarah. She moaned her approval and Sarah bucked against her. Then without mercy, she plunged her tongue inside of the older woman, eliciting pants and loud moans; her name sounded delicious the way it rolled off the woman's tongue.

Cameron flattered her tongue and flicked Sarah's clit before sucking on it and Sarah began to shout incoherently. Two of her fingers were thrust roughly into the woman and Sarah's fingers pulled sharply on Cameron's hair as she cried out, "Oh fuck! Right there!" Her hips moved with the rhythm of Cameron's finger. She pulled Cameron closer to her.

The girl held onto Sarah as the fire in her ignited in pulses and her orgasm exploded violently, leaving her breathless and spent. When the last of the waves subsided, Cameron slid up and pressed her body against Sarah's to anchor the woman.

"Did I hurt you?" Concern was heard in Cameron's voice as her hand came up and cupped Sarah's cheek.

Sarah smiled. She hasn't smiled this much since she lost John. "I'm fine. Let me please you." She responded kissing the girl.

And please she did…

"_The way that you perform the clothes are torn right off the richer. Shaking' the room again untaming the beast within. And if they ask me why, can't deny. When we touch, I can feel we've got a chemistry. Can't get enough, watch out when you stand so close to me. I've got youuu under my skin"_

A pleasant ache in her body encouraged Sarah to roll over and melt against a soft body in her bed. She opened her eyes slowly and was met with the enticing sight of Cameron.

There had been no talking about John or how she was here and remembering who she is. For now, she wanted to soak this memory up for as long as she could.

For tomorrow, Cameron would no longer be smiling her way….

The End


End file.
